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Experiencing the loss of child is probably one of the hardest thing a parent can go through in life. But whether your loss was your child, or other close loved one, it's all hard.
Hi, I'm Mae Renfroe and I've created this page to be an encouragement, support, and inspiration especially for those of you who have gone through this very painful and difficult experience. I have been there too when we lost our 14 year-old son in 2017. I feel your pain and sorrow. And I know that God loves you and has a great plan for you through your loss. Even though we our selves can not understand or know why. He will turn your tears in to joy, and your pain into purpose. He will. Just trust Him.
On this page you will find our story of loss, links, resources, and books to help you and your family in your grieving process and in the new journey you are on. I want to be as much encouragement & support to you as I possibly can.
I would love to hear from you. If you need someone to chat with or pray with you please don't hesitate to contact me. That is what I am here for. Mae Renfroe
Hi, I'm Mae Renfroe and I've created this page to be an encouragement, support, and inspiration especially for those of you who have gone through this very painful and difficult experience. I have been there too when we lost our 14 year-old son in 2017. I feel your pain and sorrow. And I know that God loves you and has a great plan for you through your loss. Even though we our selves can not understand or know why. He will turn your tears in to joy, and your pain into purpose. He will. Just trust Him.
On this page you will find our story of loss, links, resources, and books to help you and your family in your grieving process and in the new journey you are on. I want to be as much encouragement & support to you as I possibly can.
I would love to hear from you. If you need someone to chat with or pray with you please don't hesitate to contact me. That is what I am here for. Mae Renfroe
You can read our story here in my new book- Holding on to Hope
Or listen to Mae share her story & message of hope on two these podcasts
( follow the links below or find them on your favorite podcast platform )
From Mess to Miracle Podcast - episode released Dec. 9th, 2021
Grieve With Ease Podcast - episode released Dec. 13th, 2021
( follow the links below or find them on your favorite podcast platform )
From Mess to Miracle Podcast - episode released Dec. 9th, 2021
Grieve With Ease Podcast - episode released Dec. 13th, 2021
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Our story
We experienced a loss recently when our second oldest son died in a tragic quad accident on April 19th, 2017, just 2 months short of his 15th Birthday. It was very difficult for us, and is still on going. Some days are harder than others.
We are thankful though that his death was sudden and he was not suffering. He was already gone to be with His Lord when we found him pinned under the quad. The autopsy showed he died of a broken neck with very little to no trauma. So even though we were grateful and thankful for things concerning his death, the pain was still there so real, and so hard. But God is keeping us going, giving us strength and joy to make it through each new day. We are very thankful to many, many prayers from family and friends.
( To read the complete story of that day click here. www.lightsforjesus.weebly.com/grieving-with-hope/april-19th-2017 )
One of the many prayers that I prayed right after our son's death was this, " If there is anyone who knows us Lord who does not know you, let this be the moment." I felt that God put that on my heart. That He would bring life out of this death. It was very beautiful that the gospel message and invitation to come to the Lord was given at our son's funeral.
These verses have been so encouraging and comforting to me.
Revelation 14:13 NIV Then I heard a voice from heaven say, “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.”
1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 NIV Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him
Revelation 21:4 NIV ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
Here is a link to an article written by Talena Winter's, that she wrote about what God has been teaching us and doing in our lives since our loss. You can read it here.
Also I shared my testimony on my friends podcast on the September 5th, 2020 episode.
UPDATE: Since loosing our son in 2017, we have had 2 more deaths in the family. My Dad passed away suddenly in Oct. 2018 at the age of 79, and then my 46 year-old bother Lee who died tragically in a vehicle roll over on Dec.22, 2019. So three deaths in the family in less than tree years. But God has kept us going. And I want to continue all the more to give support and encouragement to others that are grieving.
Our story now available in book - Holding on to Hope
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Helpful Resources
Hope Family Care Ministries INC
I have recently came across this ministry and recommend it for those who have lost a child. Hope Family Care Ministries is a ministry dedicated to supporting those who have lost a child as they learn to navigate their pain and grief while bringing hope and healing. Each family is supported through personal communication, receiving of Hope Bags, family retreats and events, support tailored to their individual needs, and connection with other families who have experienced a similar loss. You can visit their website here. www.hopefamilycareministries.org
Hope & encouragement From the Cemetery videos
Summer 2020 I'm doing a series of videos from the nearby cemetery to bring hope and encouragement for hurting and grieving. Visit the page, Hope from the Cemetery, here where you can view all the videos.
Hope from the cemetery
( Also you might like )Sharing my testimony on a friend's podcast
Summer 2020 I'm doing a series of videos from the nearby cemetery to bring hope and encouragement for hurting and grieving. Visit the page, Hope from the Cemetery, here where you can view all the videos.
Hope from the cemetery
( Also you might like )Sharing my testimony on a friend's podcast
Grief Coaching
As of Dec. 2018, I am a student Christian Life Coach, and one of my niches in my life coaching is helping other women cope with grief & loss, and to find new hope and purpose in life.
For more info on that, and how I may be a help and support to you, please see my coaching page.
Mae's Life Coaching in grief & loss
For helpful encouragement, and resources to help you in your grieving process, please keep reading below. I have a lot here. And I feel it will be true blessing to you!
As of Dec. 2018, I am a student Christian Life Coach, and one of my niches in my life coaching is helping other women cope with grief & loss, and to find new hope and purpose in life.
For more info on that, and how I may be a help and support to you, please see my coaching page.
Mae's Life Coaching in grief & loss
For helpful encouragement, and resources to help you in your grieving process, please keep reading below. I have a lot here. And I feel it will be true blessing to you!
Listen to Mae share her story & message of hope on these podcasts
(follow the links below or find them on your favorite podcast platform)
The mom Next Door Podcast - episode released Sept. 5th, 2020
From Mess to Miracle Podcast - episode released Dec. 9th, 2021
Grieve With Ease Podcast - episode 62 released Dec. 13th, 2021
Healing for the Soul Podcast - episode released May 6th, 2022
Wow Mom Podcast by Ellen Mongan - YouTube March 2022
Rosecast Podcast by Onyiyechi Roseline Agwu - April 20, 2022
Grieving with Hope blog
I have created a blog where I have been blogging about our new journey called, Grieving With Hope. These blog posts will give you a glimpse in to my life and my heart as I dealt with our loss, and how God helped me. There is posts of encouragement. Posts with inspirational quotes and sayings. And just what I was going through. You can view all my blog posts related to our new journey of loss at this link.
http://lightsforjesus.weebly.com/grieving-with-hope/category/grieving-with-hope
I found reading to be therapeutic and healing. List of books on grief, and hope & healing after loss
One of the things that helped me right off was reading. I was right in the middle of a very inspirational book, a book of Nick Vuick's. The guy who says, " No arms, no legs, no worries!" (Have you heard of the young man who was born with out arms or legs and is now an international know inspirational speaker? You should look him up. He is something else! ) The book of his I was reading at the time lay on my head broad, so when ever I laid down to nurse my baby who was 3 months at the time, or just to rest my weary head, I would pick up that book. And things in their just really spoke to me. It was powerful.
I also poured my self in to books on grief and healing, as well as other people's stories of loss. That really was a huge help for me.
Here is a link to a list of books that have helped me, as well as some others i have came across too. Books on Grief
More Grief Resources
About 8 months after our loss we attended a Service of Remembrance put on by the funeral home, and the speaker was Christine Dernederlanden C.T.S.S Author, award winning Speaker & Humanitarian. Her message was very encouraging. We were given her book called,Where is Robert?, at the time of our son's accident. It was neat to hear her speak in person, and meet her after her message. She has many resources for both adult and children on grief on her website. www.robertspress.ca/index.html
Resource for mesothelioma and asbestos-related cancer support
"Asbestos.com is your comprehensive resource for mesothelioma and asbestos-related cancer support. We offer a range of services to assist patients, caregivers, and loved ones throughout their journey. Our commitment extends beyond physical health, prioritizing mental well-being to ensure a holistic approach to cancer care.
With a focus on mental health support, we provide valuable resources 100% free to address emotional challenges, stress, and anxiety that often accompany a cancer diagnosis. Our articles and guides offer coping strategies, self-care tips, and insights into navigating the emotional aspects of the journey.
Please check out our guide on coping with grief: https://www.asbestos.com/support/mesothelioma-grief-guide/"
Grief and Substance Abuse Resource
One significant connection between grief and substance abuse is that individuals who are grieving or experiencing depression are more prone to seeking solace in mind-altering substances. This can be a dangerous coping mechanism, as it may lead to addiction and further exacerbate their emotional state. It is important to recognize the link between grief and substance abuse and to provide support and resources for individuals who are going through these difficult times.
At Boca Recovery Center, you don't have to face these challenges alone. We are here to guide you on your journey toward a healthier and more fulfilling life. Our dedicated team of professionals understands the unique challenges that come with these dual struggles, and we are here to help.
Please check our guides on coping with grief: https://bocarecoverycenter.com/addiction/grief-substance-use-addiction/ "
My sons Writings & Ministry on Grief.
Our oldest son has been in to writing for a couple years now and has his own web-site ministry. Shortly after his brother's accident he dove into his writing all the more which helped him to deal with the loss, and he wrote a little book Called, Sunshine From Death. He now also has a list of helpful resources and links on loss and grief on his web-site. I will include the link to his site.
thesunshining.weebly.com/sunshine-from-death-resources-for-those-who-have-lost-a-loved-one.html
Also a link to his Cemetery Reflections on YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MjoYoFHUYI&list=PLhdlOfKFUjhi9wgcO6sFVovs0tw8ASUJq
I have created a blog where I have been blogging about our new journey called, Grieving With Hope. These blog posts will give you a glimpse in to my life and my heart as I dealt with our loss, and how God helped me. There is posts of encouragement. Posts with inspirational quotes and sayings. And just what I was going through. You can view all my blog posts related to our new journey of loss at this link.
http://lightsforjesus.weebly.com/grieving-with-hope/category/grieving-with-hope
I found reading to be therapeutic and healing. List of books on grief, and hope & healing after loss
One of the things that helped me right off was reading. I was right in the middle of a very inspirational book, a book of Nick Vuick's. The guy who says, " No arms, no legs, no worries!" (Have you heard of the young man who was born with out arms or legs and is now an international know inspirational speaker? You should look him up. He is something else! ) The book of his I was reading at the time lay on my head broad, so when ever I laid down to nurse my baby who was 3 months at the time, or just to rest my weary head, I would pick up that book. And things in their just really spoke to me. It was powerful.
I also poured my self in to books on grief and healing, as well as other people's stories of loss. That really was a huge help for me.
Here is a link to a list of books that have helped me, as well as some others i have came across too. Books on Grief
More Grief Resources
About 8 months after our loss we attended a Service of Remembrance put on by the funeral home, and the speaker was Christine Dernederlanden C.T.S.S Author, award winning Speaker & Humanitarian. Her message was very encouraging. We were given her book called,Where is Robert?, at the time of our son's accident. It was neat to hear her speak in person, and meet her after her message. She has many resources for both adult and children on grief on her website. www.robertspress.ca/index.html
Resource for mesothelioma and asbestos-related cancer support
"Asbestos.com is your comprehensive resource for mesothelioma and asbestos-related cancer support. We offer a range of services to assist patients, caregivers, and loved ones throughout their journey. Our commitment extends beyond physical health, prioritizing mental well-being to ensure a holistic approach to cancer care.
With a focus on mental health support, we provide valuable resources 100% free to address emotional challenges, stress, and anxiety that often accompany a cancer diagnosis. Our articles and guides offer coping strategies, self-care tips, and insights into navigating the emotional aspects of the journey.
Please check out our guide on coping with grief: https://www.asbestos.com/support/mesothelioma-grief-guide/"
Grief and Substance Abuse Resource
One significant connection between grief and substance abuse is that individuals who are grieving or experiencing depression are more prone to seeking solace in mind-altering substances. This can be a dangerous coping mechanism, as it may lead to addiction and further exacerbate their emotional state. It is important to recognize the link between grief and substance abuse and to provide support and resources for individuals who are going through these difficult times.
At Boca Recovery Center, you don't have to face these challenges alone. We are here to guide you on your journey toward a healthier and more fulfilling life. Our dedicated team of professionals understands the unique challenges that come with these dual struggles, and we are here to help.
Please check our guides on coping with grief: https://bocarecoverycenter.com/addiction/grief-substance-use-addiction/ "
My sons Writings & Ministry on Grief.
Our oldest son has been in to writing for a couple years now and has his own web-site ministry. Shortly after his brother's accident he dove into his writing all the more which helped him to deal with the loss, and he wrote a little book Called, Sunshine From Death. He now also has a list of helpful resources and links on loss and grief on his web-site. I will include the link to his site.
thesunshining.weebly.com/sunshine-from-death-resources-for-those-who-have-lost-a-loved-one.html
Also a link to his Cemetery Reflections on YouTube.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MjoYoFHUYI&list=PLhdlOfKFUjhi9wgcO6sFVovs0tw8ASUJq
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When your World is Falling Apart
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This is an article I have recently written for a magazine in Oct. 2018, and wanted to share it here. It contains some of our story what I had written above, but laid out differently and very inspirational.
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This family photo was taken the first week in April of 2017. Our family of ten of us with our eighth little one born that January. Little did we know just a couple weeks later that are precious little family would be shattered.
The afternoon of Wednesday April 19th, 2017 our second oldest son, fourteen year-old Clayton, was looking for something to do to pass time until Sam, at age 12, got off the bus later that afternoon. ( We had Sam enrolled in school that year.) Clayton had been outside walking around, then he came into the house and told me was heading over to the dugout in the woods to look for ducks. I was glad he had found something to pass time, so I told him, "Okay great, see you later”. So out the door he went and off with the quad, though he hadn’t mentioned he was using it and I don’t recall hearing it start up.
It wasn’t until about 6:00 P.M. that evening that we realized something was wrong. When Sam got off the bus about 4:30 my friend Chari arrived at the same time as well with her children Tanner and Kara. Tanner joined up with Sam and together they went out to meet up with Clayton. I told them he was probably over by the tree fort by now. So they headed that way. Upon not finding him there they decided to go into our cow pasture and play with our new calf. Mean while Chari and I enjoyed our visit which included going for a walk enjoying the lovely spring weather. And I assumed the boys met up with Clayton.
Soon as my friend left, my husband Paul came back from work, and Sam came in and told me they hadn’t met up with Clayton. I was surprised that they hadn’t, and we all wondered why he would be gone so long, though not overly worried. Paul told Sam to go blow the van horn to call Clayton in for supper. Sam also decided to run look for him.This time he went straight out to the far dugout and found Clayton who was pinned under the quad. Sam ran hollering all the way back to the house, though we did not hear him until he burst in the door nearly out of breath shouting, “ Clayton is stuck under the quad and I think he is dead.” Immediately Paul and our oldest son Nathan who was 16 at the time went running out there. Nathan got out there first and flipped the quad off of Clayton. Right off they knew he was gone.
The next moments and hours was filled with flurry of activity of calling 911, calling family, the ambulance and police arriving, victim services arriving, tears, prayers, more phone calls made, more tears, more prayers, friendly faces arriving, and us being told what would be taking place with Clayton’s body now and what to expect in the next couple days. Clayton’s body was taken out to Edmonton yet that night where an autopsy was done the next day. From the autopsy we were told that he died of a broken neck with little to no trauma. That gave us comfort knowing he went quickly with very little suffering and not calling or waiting for us to come help. Late Thursday evening Clayton’s body was brought to the funeral home and we went in Friday morning to make funeral arrangements. At the funeral home we were also able to view him which was my first time of seeing him since he had walked out the door on the 19th. Talk about emotional.
Since Clayton was by himself when the accident occured we are left trying to figure out how it happened. There was no sign that he had been playing around with the quad, so he must of just got on a wrong angle on the little hill somehow causing the quad to roll. I know in earthly terms we call this an accident. But with God I don’t believe in accidents and I don’t believe things just happen. I believe as Christians that God is in control of our lives and these things, no matter how hard they are for us to understand, happen for a reason and a purpose. As Romans 8:28 says,“ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” (KJV)
That is one of the things that kept me going right from the beginning of this was that I believed God had a special plan for us or this would never have happened. Before my mom mom and dad could make it over to Alberta from B.C. I told her on the phone, “ I know God has a special plan for us.” That is what kept me afloat.
Also one of my prayers right off after finding out we had lost Clayton was this,” Lord if there is anyone who knows us who doesn’t know you, Lord, may this be their moment.” I felt that prayer came more from the Holy Spirit than me and I felt God was going to give life from our son’s death.
James 4: 13-15 talks about our life being like a vapor, here for a little time and then vanishing away. How easy it is to take life for granted though as well as the lives of our children.
More than ever now I see my children as the precious blessings and gifts from God that they truly are. And I view each new day we are granted as a gift, and life itself as nothing short of a miracle!
Our journey of loss has certainly been hard on all of us. I had my highs and lows the whole first year. It was especially hard on me about 6 to 7 months after when nothing miraculously happened to our family. We hadn’t started this great ministry or anything, and no one had came to the Lord because of it that I knew of. And I broke down to God asking what was the plan and where was my miracle? No quick answers came. But His comfort did. And I have been trusting and resting in Him since knowing He has a perfect plan for our lives, though it has not always been easy and the pain still real.
What I have really been feeling on my heart now is to bring hope and encouragement to other hurting mothers. I want them to know they are not alone and that our stories don’t end with our tragedies. Like the life of young Joseph in Gen. 37 & 38- 50. With everything seemingly going against him with his brothers hating him and selling him into slavery, and landing in prison under false accusations, then forgotten in prison for two years by the butler. Do you think he might of been feeling like his world was falling apart? But we know how the story ends! His world was not falling apart, it was just falling into place! Into the perfect place God wanted it to be! Joseph was needed at that place at that time and God had great purpose for him there. Genesis 50:19-20 (KJV) sums it up beautifully.“ But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive.”
And that is the same for you and I too! Our stories are not over yet!
These hard things in life that we can not understand why are getting us to where God wants us. He has a plan we can not see. And that plan is far greater than anything we could ever hope for or imagine. I get excited just thinking about it! Don’t you? God is going to do great things for and through you and I! Please believe that!
I have been blogging about our new journey of grief and hope on my blog/website hoping it will offer inspiration and encouragement to others. More recently I have felt a call on my life and a tug on my heart to reach out to women through the speaking ministry, bringing a message of hope and life. Now I am just eagerly waiting for God to open the doors in that direction.
~ When you think your world is falling apart, trust God that it's really not, but that it is just falling into place. Into the place that He wants it for His glory!
Mae Renfroe
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