Of course it is a very sad and terrible thing to have lost our son. But we have hope and joy in Jesus still. And not only that, we have much to be thankful for as well concerning his death. It is a sad fact, but many, many children die everyday all over the world. And many of these families do not have  God in their lives to deal with the pain and grief as we do. And in many situations  the circumstances that surround their death is so very sad and heart wrenching.

 We have so much to be thankful concerning our son's life and death.
 Our son, Clayton, was in a good godly home. He was loved by his parents and siblings. He was not neglected or abused.
 He was well taken care of and well fed. He had all he needed, and most of what he wanted.
  He was happy. He loved life. He enjoyed playing with his siblings, and helping around the house and farm.
 He was well and healthy. He knew and loved God.
   He died doing what he enjoyed, out for a drive on the quad. The autopsy showed his death, which was from a broken neck, was quite quick with little to no trauma. So we can be comforted by the fact that he died with almost no suffering, and that he was not calling out to us and waiting for help.  Not all parents have that assurance concerning their children's death. 
 So we have been so blessed and are so very thankful on many levels concerning our son, both in life and death. When you think of these different things, I just can not thank the Lord enough.
   Sure I miss him like crazy and wish so much here was still here, but I know it could have been a lot worse. We didn't have to see him suffer, in fact he didn't even suffer hardly at all that we know of), and he was not sick or ill, he just was here one moment and gone the next. We had good all memories right up to his death.  For that I will be ever grateful.
    Praise be to God!
  In Him, Mae

  So baked a chocolate cake, and had chocolate ice-cream in honor of Clayton's Birthday on June 14th. As I mentioned last time he loved his chocolate!! So we had chocolate to honor him.
  Then we all went to the cemetery to visit his gravesite. It just felt right doing that on his birthday. Though that was rough on us parents standing over his grave on which would have been his 15th birthday. Of course my husband and I cried. The kids did alright, and it seemed to mean a lot to them. The younger children each brought some flowers for the grave. As we were leaving the cemetery it started raining and so one of the children said Clayton was peeing. That got  all the children laughing. They had said he can't be crying up there, so it couldn't be tears, it had to be pee.  Got to love what the children come up with!! It certainly lighten the mood.

 I went in our bedroom the other day, and there was 3 year old Daniel sitting on my bed looking at one of the memorial cards from the funeral. He spent a lot of time holding and looking at it. He was close to Clayton. Clayton really love tending to him, giving him attention, and taking him  along outside to do something. Daniel may not know what the word means, but occasionally when we talk about Clayton he will say, "Clayton died." And that is what is was saying when he was holding the card. when I went to take is picture then he posed for me.

  The day after his 15th Birthday we went to pick out a grave stone. Wow, talk about 2 hard things at once. Was a lot of different grave stones to choose from, lots of choices of what you could have written on there, and designs that could be sand blasted on it. We already knew we wanted what was called a pillow headstone, and just something simple. So that made it easier. Then we looked through sand blasting designs that could be done on it, and finally chose a deer head. He did love his deer hunting. So that seem appropriate. Just days before he passed away he had already been bugging me about taking him hunting again the next hunting season. He knew it was not my favorite thing. So that is why he bugged me!! Last year when I took him I was big and pregnant, and so bumping along through the fields wasn't too fun! And then helping to load his deer! But I am now very glad for those memories.  God knew huh?

 June 14th would have been our son Clayton's B-day. So we will be celebrating tomorrow in honor of his 15th Birthday. It will be hard I imagine. But I feel I want to do something. And so do all the children too. In fact our one son, Sam, who is not being home schooled this year and was Clayton's closest play buddy, wants to stay home from school tomorrow. I understand.
 I would guess this first birthday of his after his passing will be the hardest one for us.
  Wishing he was here to turn 15, and  16 and 17, and more. But I am very blessed for all the time that God did give us with him.
 Thinking of his loving smile. The chocolate cakes he enjoyed baking. And that he loved anything chocolate, from ice-cream to pudding, from cream-of-wheat cereal to milk, from cakes to cookies, always chocolate if he had his choice!
   Remembering how he loved to hunt and how I had to take him hunting several times last fall and how he was successful in getting us a few deer!! And how he was already bugging me about taking him hunting again this coming fall, he would be like, "Ready to go hunting Mom?".
  So many great memories! But it is hard to think on  them with out sadness too. But God is holding me up! Thanks to our awesome Father and to all the many prayers from so many of you all.
 In Him, Mae