Talking over the day

e
   Talking over the day I find  to be very important, if not I find things that need to be talked about and dealt with further get dropped and forgotten.

  When issues arise, like the children fighting between themselves or with me, I deal with the incident the moment it happens to an ex-stint, like punishment, time-out, etc... But often, more is needed. Talking over the matter, discussing a better way for the child to have reacted, praying about it, child apologizing, etc... For little ones this can be better done at the moment while it is still fresh on their minds... But for the older ones I find it is much better and more effective to wait until they have cooled down a bit, both of us. And they are no longer mad at me, or at the other child, and can think more rationally, and see the bigger picture of things.

  I usually do this at bedtime since I already try hard to go to each of their rooms and pray with them before they go sleep.

  At the moment something happens usually it takes force to make them stop the bad behavior , and that is good for the time being, but your still left with more problems to deal with. Heart issues, bitterness, anger, selfishness, thoughtfulness, ect... Important things that need dealt with and worked out. Such as how the child should have reacted or how they should feel towards the other child or the parent. Or these things will happen again and again.

  Also when you deal with something at the moment can be hard not to react with anger, so later if you talk about what happened with that child they can see and feel your love and care for them and for the situation. And more often than not we moms need to apologize to the child to for how reacted in the situation as well. Especially if we handle a situation in haste we will mostly likely regret it later.

  So discuss the day at the end of the day, and make right the wrongs, make peace, keep the communications lines open, as well as showing them your great love and care.

  ~ IN Him, Mae
   P.S I also have done little meetings with the children ever so often. These meetings involved a few of the children at time. Last winter of 2016-2017 I had a few of these meetings and they were really special. I held a separate meeting for the younger ones and one for the older three. I would talk about certain issues that recently had arose with them, maybe squabbles they had had together, as well certain things I wanted them to improve on. These meetings were lighthearted and enjoyable for them. I had a notebook and took notes of things we discussed, and then we would review these at the next meeting, seeing how they had improved on the different things. They really enjoyed it. And it did seem to be effective way to talk with them. We video recorded a couple of these meetings and one in particulate was a really hoot. Mostly likely because it contained our now deceased dear son Clayton. That video will be a real treasure now. And it was done only about a month before his passing. Only God.