Our two graduates
The morning started out a bit rough for me though. As I was thinking about our evening we had planed for Nathan, and started preparing for and anticipating that event, I had a lot of emotions going on. Excited for Nathan, but of course thinking about our dear son, Clayton, and so also quite sad and feeling down. Knowing that not only would Clayton not be here to be apart of this special moment for Nathan, but that he ( Clayton ) also would not be having this special moment himself at all.
I had already previously said to some of my family that I already considered Clayton graduated though. So I had to rework that through my mind again to console my self. That no, Clayton would not be having a graduation as Nathan from 12 years of schooling and at the usual graduating age, but he did graduate from school just the same, at the tender age of 14 from grade 8.
And not only did Clayton graduate from school, but he successfully graduated from this life here in this old, broken temporary world, to his new beautiful heavenly home -- his forever Home to be forever with the Lord. Where there is no more pain, no more sorrow, no more tears, no more sin, and no more death. Now that is the ultimate graduation! He successfully made it through, completed his life and all that the Lord had for him here, though short it was, and now is resting with the Lord, worshiping with the angels, and proudly wearing his graduation crown! Way to go Clayton! We look forward to joining you one day! ( Your mom just wishes she could give you a big hug & a loving pat on the back right now though)
While I was feeling down and thinking this all through I just felt I needed to talk to my mom. Some how just talking to her is just what I need to make it through a rough moment like that. So I called her up. And soon as she says hello I told her that I forgot to mention to her last night when we spoke that we were having Nathan's graduation dinner today. I could hardly get those words out without choking up. I said, "I am thinking about Clayton how he is not here, and that he won't be graduating like Nathan, but I also feel he already did before Nathan."
She understood. And she agreed with me. And gave me words of encouragement, hope, and comfort. We talk for awhile, me crying, and her comforting me. And then we get off. I go about writing a message for Nathan in the grad card I bought for him.
After that I am feeling better, and go into the kitchen to get busy cooking and baking. By late afternoon all is well with me, and all is set and ready for a special evening for Nathan. Of course I had to phone my mom later that night to tell her about our great evening. And she shared my joy, wishing that they could have been here with us though.
So in saying we have our 2 oldest sons graduated now.
One completed with school and headed off soon to work at Riverside Bible camp for the summer in far off Canada, as well as what ever else the Lord has for him and his life.
And our other one, completed with this life and now safely off in his forever Home with the Lord.
Sure, it is all bitter sweet. But it is what it is. And sometimes we just have to look on things with a little different perceptive. What ever it takes to make it through what we have been given in life. Because we know our God makes no mistakes. There is no accidents with Him. Though we can not understand why we know this was apart of the His plan for our lives. And so no matter how hard it may be for me to say this, " I wouldn't desire it to be any other way."
To God be the glory, honor,& praise for ever and ever! Amen!
In Him, Mae
P.S. If you are a mother that has just recently lost a child, I understand that you may find it hard to see and feel my perceptive of how I view our son, Clayton, as graduated. Know that I could never have felt this way any sooner. It would have been too hard on me to feel that way earlier on. Now though that is has been over a year, the pain has lessened some and so I can honestly feel happy for Clayton. But it still hurts - a lot. That is why it was so hard for me that morning as I mentioned, and as I was writing the above piece tears were very close to the surface. Maybe this is not the way others may want to look at it with their loss, but it does and has helped me. So I am sharing in case it may be an encouragement and blessing to you and your situation.
Remember if you need someone to chat with please leave me a message in the contact box, and I will get back to you as soon as I can. That is what my blog and I are here for! :)
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I am a wife to my wonderful husband, Paul, of over 22 years. Mommy to 9 blessings, ages 21 to 3 years. Our 2nd oldest son, at age 14, has gone on to be with the Lord on April 19th, 2017. I share about that new road we are on here on my blog.
My first 7 years of blogging.
Great inspirational reading!
"I believe a greater intimacy with God leads us to an inner peace, unquenchable joy, & an ever-lasting hope regardless of what we go through in life." Mae