Here is a message I shared at 2 different times at our local Bible Camp which I mentioned about in my last blog post. This was my written notes that I went by for the message I shared, but I really just tried to share it from my heart, and did not read my notes word for word. This message was geared to the young people at camp many of which knew our son Clayton. I had a slide show put together about our son at camp, and then of photos around here as well. So I shared that before I got in the heart of my message. I will not post the slide show here since some of the photos have other children in them and I do not have their permission to use them. The slide show was put to the song this World is Not my Home.
MESSAGE I have a little slide show we have put together to kind of introduce our son to you. Many of you will have know him. Our son Clayton passed away April 19th, 2017 in a 4 wheeler accident. It was so very tradgic and sudden. It reminds me of the verse in James 4:14 KJV, "Where as you know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your lif?It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away." ( but we sometimes get the feeling we will always be here don't we?) Clayton had been a camper out here for 6 summers in a row. He was at the last 2 Junior high camps. He probably would have been at the Senior high camp this year, and he hoped to be able to volunteer out at camp as well. Clayton was 14 and would of truned 15 on June 14th, 2017. I am sure many of you got to know him here at camp , and I am sure some of you were even his cabin mates in the past. ( show slide show) Like that song says this world is not our home, we are just passing through. This here on earth is just our temporary home while we are in waiting for our futuer Home --- Our Real Home or our Forever Home. It is easy to sometimes think we will be here for ever or a long time anyway, epsecailly if your young. You feel like you have your whole life ahead of you. But life is not always that way. God sometimes has differnt plans than we have. And our life can be over so much sooner than we ever expected or inticapated as I know first hand. And just as our son was here one moment; healthy, happy, and full of life, and then gone the next, it can happen to anyone. Life can sometimes be cut short. But the great things is you don't need to fear death. God loves you so much that He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins so that through Him we can have eteranl life. So when we die here on earth, we are simply waking up in our next life, where we will be living for ever with Him Glory. Isn't that awesome!! As Clayton's parents knowing that he loved God, even though we have great sorrow, we also have joy and the assurance that as he has passed from our home he has gone on to his For Ever Home. And that is my desire for you that you will also know and love God, and that you will have that same assurance that you know where you will be going when your life here is over. God loves you so much that He does not want you to die with out knowing Him. He wants you to love Him, honor & serve Him with you whole being, and have a relationship with Him. Remmber each new day that God gives you is a true gift, and your life is nothing short of a miracle. So make the most of each day that God gives you giving your life for His service. Because you don't know how long you may have as James 4:13-14 states. And like the lyrics in the song One Day at a Time. Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus, And tomorrow may never be mine. No, we may not know what tomorrow holds. And that is ok. But what is beautiful is that we know who holds tomorrow! I want to share with you some verses that talk about God's amazing love He has for us. As well as the verses on the hope we have through Jesus Christ. (verses on hope:) Revelation 14:13 NIV Then I heard a voice from heaven say, “Write this: Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord from now on.” “Yes,” says the Spirit, “they will rest from their labor, for their deeds will follow them.” 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 NIV Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. Revelation 21:4 NIV ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” 2 Corinthians 5:8 NIV We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. Psalm 116:15 Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. (verses on God's love:) John 11:25-26 NIV Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; 26 and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” Romans 14:8 NIV If we live, we live for the Lord; and if we die, we die for the Lord. So, whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Matthew 18:4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. John 3:15-16 That everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.” 16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 10:27-28 My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. 28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. Thank you for allowing me to share this message with you all and being able to do this also in honor and memory of our son Calyton Renfroe.
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Hundreds of children are dying of starvation and incurable diseases in many areas of the world on a daily basis. Could you, as a parent, imagine watching your child suffer and die like that? And then there is the children dying that have been neglected, abused, and unloved. Those children didn't just die peacefully, but in sorrow and agony, and unwanted. Or the children that are from good loving homes but have been kidnaped and killed or have gotten lost in the woods and died that way. How very hard that would be on the parents ( I can not even imagine the grief and pain from that ), and for the children in their last hours before death. And then there is children that is not dying, but living in horrible circumstances day in and day out, living with abuse and neglect, living with parents who are al addicted to drugs and alcohol.
I just added a new name to the blog. It will now be called Grieving With Hope and Mae's Mothering Journey. Sort of two blogs in one. I will continue with my regular blogging, and plus things on my heart and mind that pertain to our new journey we are on.
My hope and desire in this is to be an encouragement to others that are in a similar situation as us. This road is hard, and not at all what we would have wanted of course, but it is doable and bearable with God. And through it we can now relate to and support others that are going through this difficult journey. All of the blog posts that pertain to our experience with our loss will be under the category Grieving With Hope. You are very welcome to share this blog with any one you know that may be encouraged by our story. I will be posting here when ever great things and thoughts are on my mind and often as time allows. ( I am a busy mom with 7 other blessings needing my time and attention. ) In Him, Mae
Here is a video of the funeral service for our son Clayton who went to be with the Lord on April 19th, 2017. A terribly sad moment for us. But the service was very nice, and was all we could wish for our son, though we wish we would not have had to go through something like this. But we know God has a plan for us, and there was a reason for this. My constant prayer right after our son died was that, " If there is anyone who knows us who does not know the Lord, may this be the moment." And that is one reason I liked the funeral service so much is that the message really reflected that prayer of mine. I hope many were touched by the message. And many more who watch this video. If you do not have the Lord as your personal saviour yet, this is your moment! Don't put it off, you never know how much time you have left here on earth.
In Him, Mae
I wrote this poem for Clayton's 12th birthday. It was read at his funeral by my good friend Chari. Clayton
Our dear son here is a poem, Just for you, Cause we love what you do! I have no clue, What we’d do without you. Who will mow the yard? Or do the breakfast dishes so hard? So you see, Without you very unhappy we would be! Cause we don’t like to mow And we certainly don’t like to snow blow! Your yummy chocolate cakes, You so love to bake. Well they are the best Way above the rest!! Your so cool, How you can ride your bike with no hands! If we had a mule, I know you would ride him doing a handstand! You find egots without even looking, And you help with the cooking. Yep, you're good at everything, Even baby brother sitting!! Thanks for helping to plant seeds, And hoeing and tilling the weeds. Picking the beans, And shelling the peas. This poem said we love you, For all that ya do! But especially for just being YOU! The other day I was out planting some things in Clayton's garden spot. He had started some pumpkin plants, peppers, and brussle sprouts in little potting containers in the basement under out light system we have set up down there. It was hard seeing so many of his things he was right in the middle of doing when we left us. Right off I knew that I would continue to care for his plants in the basement and make sure they got in his garden spot for him.
So there I was in his garden planting his pumpkins, brussle sprouts, and peppers. As I dug the holes for the plants I could not help but talk to Clayton. I told him, "This is not the way we planned it. You were to be here planting your garden, not your mom in your stead. This is not the way it should be. This was not apart of the plan." Then these thoughts came in to my mind. "We have to remember though that sometimes our plans are not Gods plans. He has a better plan, even though it doesn't always at first glance look that way. And no matter how much we want you back, I know that if this is His plan for us then we all can say is, Yes, to His will. But oh it hurts!" Yes, God's plans may not always look like ours. They may be way differnt, and not at all what we would have ever emangined or thoguht of for our family. But all we can say is, "We want your will Lord." And remmber that He will not give us for than we can handle, and he will never leave or forsake us. The will of God will not take us where the grace of God can not keep us. In Him, Mae Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths. Proverbs 3: 5-6 May 19th, 2017 was my 38th Birthday. But it also marked one month since the tragic accident of our son Clayton. Things are a bit easier, and my pain some what less. And this past month has been busy with us getting back to school, and planting our garden, and such cause life must go on even if we wish sometimes it didn't. And life is never not busy with 7 busy children. But if I think of it much at all, it all comes pouring back.
I can hardly believe that it has been a month already. But really a month is not long at all to have just lost a son. A son who had been so healthy, happy, and full of life one moment. And then the next moment, gone. GONE. FOREVER. It is hard to believe that it is even real. So many differnt emotions and feelings I have been experinceing. It's hard to put in words how I have been feeling. Most of the time I am glad and thankful that the Lord has helped me to stay so strong, and that I have not been over come with grief too much. And that I have not cried much. But other times I am upset at my self for not hurting more, and not weeping more over our great and tragic loss. I even feel somtimes there must be something worng with me that I can go on almost seemly unschathed ( atleast from the out ward apperacne ) when our son Clayton is gone. Never to be with us again, never to give me his big smiles, never to be out and about doing the things he loves. How can I even keep living since he is gone? But I have to and I am. And since I am I know my husband and children need me to keep strong, to be there for them, and to be happy too. I hope those around me see me as strong and grounded in the Lord even though I am grieving inside. Grieving, but not grieving as those with out hope. As time continues to go by I know God will contnue to give me the strengthe I need, and to lessen our pain, and to keep our hearts joyfull. Though right now I can not emagine how. In Him, Mae But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him. 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14 I first read, or mostly read anyway, the book by Steven Chapman "Between Heaven and the Real World". In it he talked about the loss of their daughter. In the back of the book I seen that his wife had written a book on their story too, "Choosing to See". So I quickly had my oldest son find and order it on Amazon for me. It arrived yesterday, and I immediately started devouring it.
I can tell this will be a great read for me. Just what I needed about now. I even looked up her web-site and went to the contact page and sent her a message thanking her for writing the book and sharing her story. If you have been through the loss of a child as well, I am sure you would find it a blessing too. Even though I can not understand why. Even though I have so many questions. Even though things just doesn't seem right or fair when some thing like this so tragic happens to family like ours.
Yet I trust in God, knowing He knows and He cares. He knows all about how I feel, He knows my hurts, and my questions. He knows why. He knows best. And He knows the plans He has for us. And I trust Him for that. But it is so hard! Every day when I stop and think about it, it's hard. Really hard. Yet, I will say, "Yes to thy will". Because there is no other way I could manage. He is my only Hope. Yes, God is with us still. He never left His post. He never stopped loving and caring for us. I can feel His precence through my loving and caring friends and family. I hear Him speaking to me when I read my Bible, and through inspriational reading. I know He has a plan for us that I can not see. And I trust Him for that. God is with us still! Amen! In Him, Mae Most of you know already, but some you don't. That our second oldest son passed on to be with the Lord on April 19th, 2017. Clayton 14 years old, (just 2 months shy his 15th Birthday) died very suddenly and very tragically in a 4 wheeler accident. You just don't realize just how short life or the fragility of life can be till something like this happens. Here one moment and gone the next. Our friends and family rallied around us during our difficult time with tremendous love and support, and many, many prayers. I don't know what we would have done with out them. They just showed up to be there for us and with us. We were over loaded with prepared meals and other food items form canned Tuna to fruit ( especially bananas) to coffee to tolit paper, not to mention a huge case of Kleenex, and games and crafts to occupy the children. Helping with house work and spending time with the children. The funeral was held on our local community hall here in Deadwood on April 25th, 2017. It was a very beutiful service. It started with an uelagy read about Clayton, a poem read by my close friend that I had written to Clayton on his 12th birthday, a slide show put to msuic of pictuers of Clatyon taken through out the years, and then a mesage of hope and the gospel, and invitation to come to the Lord. It was very specail and well done. My constant prayer since that tragic happening was, " If there is anyone who knows us who does not know the Lord yet, may this be the momnet." So it was so neat that the service was in the fasion it was. After the service at the hall we all went to the cementary for the gravesite service and us family stayed there till the grave was buried. The we went back to the hall for a lunchone. There was big crowd at the funeral, and was nice to see all the support we had in this. All of my brothers and my one sister was able to be there as well, and was the first time we were all togther in atleast 25 years. That was specail in its self. I would say our worst part of our grief is over, but that we of course will keep feeling things of and on for many years. These things are very hard on all the family members, and each one of us will feel differnt things and at differnt times. Especailly our 12 year old son Sam who found Clayton dead, and who has been so close with Clayton and shared a room with him. And then my husband who did CPR all he could even though Clayton was gone already. You can only emagine what he was going through during that. I plan to blog about our experience and journey through this to encourage others that have also gone through the loss of a child. I will blog about things that are a help to me, and just thoughts or verses that God gives me. I know I am not alone in this, knowing many parents have also gone through the pain of losing a child, and that God is with us, loving us, and giving us His strength, peace, joy and comfort. |
Meet Mae
I am a wife to my wonderful husband, Paul, of over 22 years. Mommy to 9 blessings, ages 21 to 3 years. Our 2nd oldest son, at age 14, has gone on to be with the Lord on April 19th, 2017. I share about that new road we are on here on my blog. Categories
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My first 7 years of blogging.
Great inspirational reading! "I believe a greater intimacy with God leads us to an inner peace, unquenchable joy, & an ever-lasting hope regardless of what we go through in life." Mae Archives
December 2023
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