Here is a little video to give you hope and encouragement for whatever you may be going through in life. God is with you & for you, and has a plan and purpose for what He allows you to go through. He knows how to turn the worst of your tragedies into the greatest triumphs for His glory! The greater the test, the greater the testimony! So don't loose hope. He loves you and cares for you. And He will see you through this! In this video I share our story of loss, and how God gave me comfort and peace right through it all. And I talk about how you can have that same hope and peace in Christ.
If you would like to see the longer version of our story of loss and hope on video please see this previous blog post. the-video-of-our-story-of-loss-hope-encouragement-and-inspiration-for-the-hurting.html And I would love it if you would pass this on to as many people as you can. I want this to reach as many people as possible. I'm passionate about being a light in someones dark world. And a hope for the hurting. That there is healing of broken hearts in God. And that He cares for you and He is passionately crazy in love with you. May Jesus be your personal Savior and the Lord of your life today. Place your life in His hands for there is no safer and better place to be! In Him, Mae
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Have things happened that is beyond your control and has left you reeling in pain and sorrow? Are you wondering how you can possibly go on with life, and if you will ever have joy again? Are you trying to make sense of it all, and asking why, God, who is in control of all things, would have ever allowed the thing to happen in the first place? Are you so down, you don't know how you will ever get up again? Whether it was the tragic and sudden death of a child or another loved one, a divorce, rejection, a Dr.s diagnosis, etc.... Life was going along smooth and everything was great. Things couldn't have been better. And then out of nowhere in a single moment this happened. And everything changed. Your world turned upside down. You were knocked you off of your feet. The wind blew out of your sail. And your left wondering where God is in all of this. And why He hasn't stopped this. Sometimes God calls us through things instead of around them. But He is right there with us through it all. We want God to hurry and calm the storm. But God wants us to find Him in the midst of the storm first. ( Continued below the video. ) God does His most stunning work where things seem the most hopeless. God is able to bring hope into your life even when everything seems hopeless. Were there are pain and suffering God is right there too. And there is no better place for the greatness & brilliance of God to shine! I may not know what you are going through, but I know that I serve a faithful God who is in control all things and has a plan and a purpose for what He allows to happen in our lives. There is no accidents with God and He makes no mistakes. He will turn your pain into a purpose! Your test into a testimony! Your tragedies into triumphs! Your wounds into beauty marks! Your setbacks into breakthroughs! Your disability into a possibility! All for His glory and your better good! Amen! As you listen to our family's personal story of loss and hope may you be filled with that same peace, comfort, and joy that I have been. I pray you will be inspired to get up and keep on going. And if it's too hard to stand, remember to kneel. It's down on our knees that He can lift us back up again. When bad things become unbearable, trust that good things are going to happen. That's when God does His greatest work!
Please know there is better days ahead. You will get through this, you will be filled with joy, and have a peace that passes all human understanding. And you can have a full and blessed life after loss. God has a plan for you that is better than you can ever hope for or imagine. Keeping pressing into God and pressing on! He will be with you all the way. And remember if you need someone to talk to just contact me. That's what I am here for. take a minute and leave me a comment or e-mail me and I will get back to you as soon as I can. And let me know how I can pray for and with you. God's greatest blessings to you my dear friend! In Him, Mae Renfroe [email protected] Life has been busy at our house. And because of that, it's been two weeks since I did a video blog post, and over a week since I did a written post. Some of the things consuming my time lately are: ~ My husband coming home from Texas. ~ Going out to Edmonton with him for an appointment for our baby Faith concerning her head shape. All went well. ~ Planting in our garden. ~ And keeping our garden watered due to a major lack of rain in our area. ~ Still busy schooling. ~ Tending to the children. ~ Cooking and housekeeping. ( You know, the usual) Hoping things will slow down and I will get back to doing blog videos this week. And will continue writing as time allows. In the meantime, I would love to hear from you, my readers. Let me know you visited my website/blog. How you liked it. What was your favorite recent post of mine? Or anything else you would like to tell me. I would love to connect with you. I want to be a blessing and encouragement to you. And would like to know how I can do that even more. And if you have something I can pray with you about as well, please let me know. That what I'm here for. A big exciting thing for me that I'm really wanting to work on soon is a video of our story of loss and hope. I already have some done in that way, and just need to add to it and do some editing. My hopes for that video is to share it with as many people as possible through my website and blog, and you-tube, to give inspiration and encouragement to as many people as possible. I want to give life and hope to others from the loss of our son. That is what kept me going right from the beginning of loosing our son; is that I felt God had big plan in this for us. A plan to give life to others - eternal life in Christ. Only God knows how all He will use this, and what all plans He has, I just want to be His willing servant. And I just want to say yes to His will.
I would not only love to hear from you. But I would also love your prayers in this as well. For God's guidance and direction over me, and for extra time to accomplish this. (Extra time is not something I have a lot of as busy mom eight.) Please keep visiting my blog for more great stuff coming, and be sure to spread the word to others you know who would be blessed and encouraged by my website and blog as well. In Him, Mae My first blog post after our newest baby! Hi to you all! In this video I talk about, and show off our new baby, Faith Irene. And tell about how she got her name. And how faith and peace go together. Hope you enjoy! And stayed tuned for more weekly blog posts. Now that I am up and going after our baby, I plan to do these video blog posts weekly again. In Him, Mae Here is my awesome family as of April 28th, 2019! Our previous family picture was taken 2 years ago just before we lost our son, Clayton, on April 19th 2017. In this recent photo we have our newest blessing. Our baby Faith is a few weeks old. There is nothing like a new baby in the house! And how special that she was born in April. God is good! Below is our family photo taken two weeks before our son Clayton's accident. We had no clue what was soon to happen. But God has a way of preparing us for what we can't see coming, and is always there with us in the midst of the storms. He is our anchor. Our refuge and strength. To read all the blog posts since our son's death click here. Thank you for following my blog. I hope it has been an encouragement and blessing to you. And please share with your friends. I would love to reach as many people as I can with hope and encouragement.
In Him, Mae Two years has gone by since the passing of our son, Clayton, on April 19th, 2017. Clayton died instantly in a tragic quad accident at the young age of 14. ( For the complete story of that day see this blog post. April 19, 2017 ) I have been writing here on my blog, Grieving With Hope, about the new journey we are on. And I have been able to be an encouragement and inspiration to my blog readers over these last 2 years with all that God is doing and has done in our lives, and from the comfort we have been given. I love seeing how God uses bad things for good and for His glory! God always wins! And God knows how to make sense out of the tragedies and traumas of life. God puts to use what He allows us to go through if we will only place it in His hands. He will make something beautiful out of it. He turns our tragedies into triumphs. Time has a good way of healing our hurting and broken hearts. But the missing of our son is still there. There is a constant void in our hearts and in our home. We will never feel complete as a family this side of heaven. I've been praying for more opportunities to share my message of hope and encouragement that God has given me, either through writing or speaking. I would love to be able to share some of my writings through various women's ministries and organizations. I want to be an inspiration to others that are going through similar things. To let them know there is hope and there is healing after something as tragic as this. And help them to see these times of difficulty for what they really are -- seasons of growth and shaping. We can live an abundant life after our loss. God restores and heals. He is near to the brokenhearted. ( see Psalm 34: 18 ) And God blesses those who grieve. ( see Matthew 5:4 ) May we keep in mind that the opposition and tribulations we go through in life can produce some of the greatest fruit in us. They can cause us to face things and do things we could not have done had we not had that opposition, tragedies, or tribulations. These things will make us go running to God. They will make us pray. And make us to increase our faith. We often view opposition as a bad thing, and it can certainly feel that way. But these things can be an opportunity. An opportunity for more of God's blessing in our lives. And an opportunity for our growth, and to be an out reach and blessing in someone else's life. Even in the unbearable seasons of life, He is nearer than we often think. He promises to never leave us nor for sale us. So let's keep praising. Keep worshiping. Keep believing. Keep Loving. Keep trusting. In Him Mae Romans 5:3-5 (KJV) 3 And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; 4 And patience, experience; and experience, hope: 5 And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us. Here is the latest book I am reading. It has been very encouraging to me, and some of the inspiration for this blog post was from this book. I highly recommend this book, Restart Your Heart by Jetezen Franklin, to anyone who has been hurt by things in life. I have yet to read Jentezen Franklin's book, Love Like You've Never Been Hurt. Jentezen refers to that book many times in this one, as well has excerpts from that book. So I would recommend both books. The role we play We have a role to play to be on the receiving end of God’s peace and blessings. Isaiah 26:3-4 (KJV) 3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. 4 Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength: God is the one who keeps us going. He is the one who gives us peace, and not just peace, but perfect peace. He is the one who heals our broken hearts, restores, and gives us joy again. God gives us hope. He gives us strength. He gives us comfort, and the courage to keep on going. And keep going strong. He gives us a new lease on life. But we have a role to play, and a job to do in all of this. 6 Be careful for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. 7 And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4: 6-7 We have to make the choice to trust Him. To rest in Him. To believe Him. To stay in His Word. To believe His Word. And trust His Word, that what He said He will do. Trust Him for who He is and what He does. Keep holding on to faith. And keep hoping. To choose joy over self-pity. To choose to go through. To keep our heads and eyes lifted up to Him. To let go of our own strength and wisdom and seek His. To keep trusting and believing that He will do His part and keep us in perfect peace. He said, “ Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Mathew 11:28 He restores. He heals. He gives hope again. He gives life. But we have to trust and believe. Believe He is who He says He is, that we are who He says we are, and that He can do what He says he can do. Believe, trust, and cling with all our hearts and minds. And He will give us perfect peace. We have to preserve, and keep going, even when the going gets tough. God didn’t say it would be easy. He didn’t say it would be pain-free. But He said, “ Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” Deuteronomy 31:6 And in Isaiah 41:10 (KJV),” Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” Good thoughts and inspiration only come from being in His Word, and communing with Him. Oh, the peace we often forfeit and needless pain we bear, the only because we do not carry everything to God in prayer. And because we do not seek God, draw unto Him, read His Word regularly, and keep our minds on Him, and on the things above. What the world gives us is short term and temporal. What God gives us is long term and eternal. The world gives us band-aids or a quick fix. God gives us complete and perfect healing. The world gives us pleasure to make us feel good for a short time, but often that brings about even more problems in the long run. God gives us that which will outlast this lifetime. So we keep trusting He’s got a plan in what He brings us through, even though we can’t see that plan. We can either allow our pain and sorrow to swallow us up and make us bitter. Or we can go through strong and victorious and come out for the better!
We have to keep believing that He is working all things for our good. ( Romans 8:28 ) God knows best. We are here for His glory. To serve His purpose. To bring others to Him. It is not about us. It’s all about Him. And if we have a heart after God, that is exactly what we will want, and seek after. His purpose will become our purpose. Our ways will be fashioned after His ways. And our thoughts on the things above. Colossians 3:1-3 Rest, Believe, trust. Repeat. Keep your mind on Him. And stay in perfect peace! In Him, Mae Here is our newest baby! A Girl!! Faith Irene, weighing 7 lb.s and 5 oz.s Born via c-section on April 2nd, 2019. Now we have 5 boys and 4 girls! And I am now not only the youngest of 9, but also the mother of 9 too! The delivery went great. Wow, c-section is sure faster and easier than going through the long hard labor I have been use to. But the recovery process slower, and I am certainly more sore. But doing good. And baby is all healthy and eating and sleeping great! I was in the hospital for 2 days after the birth. The children sure were happy to have me and baby come home! You can see their joy and excitement in these photos. There is certainly nothing like a new baby in the house! And no better gift to give your children than the blessing a new brother or sister. Do you know what you're having? We never find out head of time if we are having a boy or girl, so the big gender reveal is at birth. Sometimes we have had a strong feeling one way or the other during pregnancy and we have been right. This time Paul felt it would be a boy, and though I had felt right off to begin with it was girl, I nearly lost that hope near the end due to him being so certain it was a boy. But she was a girl! The name Faith came to me shortly after I knew I was expecting. I had just had a miscarriage the month before. And when I found out I was expecting again, though I do not recall how it cam to me exactly, rather by a dream or just something that pooped in my head, it was like I was told by God we were going to have a baby girl and her name would be Faith. Something that was really neat was that I ended up with 3 wall hangings all about at that same time with the word Faith on them. I thought that was really cool. I have 5 in all now. Though along the pregnancy I did wonder if we would end up with a girl after-all. So I would often say I am holding out faith that this baby will be Faith. Since we were not completely sure our baby would be a girl we did not have a middle name ready, though I had played around with a couple names, but none I was really satisfied with. And honestly I really didn't hold out too much hope at that point for a girl anyway. Paul and the boys were all very confident we were having a boy. I was out numbed! So how and when did we get our middle name? Well the day she was born we started thinking of names. And asked others what they thought sounded good with Faith. We were given many great ideas, but really I wanted a name with a special meaning, something that meant life or restoring of life. With this new baby right from the beginning of pregnancy I was over joyed that God gave us new life again after loosing our son Clayton in April of 2017. I didn't know if He would bless us with another baby or not, though I was hoping. Especially with the baby being due in April was very special too. It was like God giving us a new date in April. One with good memories. So back to choosing a middle name. We googled names that meant life or restoration of life. And there was several, but none really seemed right. Then in the evening after Paul had gone home for the night, he sends me a text and ask what i think of the name Irene. Now Irene is one of my middle names. I would never ever thought of using it. It just never came to me, and I certainly didn't know it had any special meaning. But guess what, Paul said he googled it and it means peace. So what did I think of Irene knowing it means peace? I told him I thought it was great! So Faith Irene it was! And the more I thought about the name Irene and how it meant peace, the more I realized just how special, meaningful, and very appropriate it was. Peace and faith go together wonderfully! It is when we have complete faith and trust in God that we will be at perfect peace. Isaiah 26:3-4 KJV ) Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee. Trust ye in the LORD for ever:for in the LORD JEHOVAH is everlasting strength: And that is what God did for us after loosing Clayton. We had faith in Him, that even though we could not understand or know why this happened, we trusted Him just the same. And with that trust and deep faith in Christ, in return He gave us such deep peace and loving comfort. It was amazing the peace I felt right after our tragic loss. The pain still very real, but a deep and underlying peace that one can not even begin to describe, and that only God can give. And God is still doing that for us. We keep trusting and believing that He is working all things for our good. And He keeps giving us peace and joy. Only in God! What are you going through that you wonder if you can even keep on going? What are you trusting God for? What is it that has you barley hanging on? Do you feel like you've almost lost all hope of anything ever changing in your circumstance?
Please keep believing, keep trusting, and keep up your faith in God that He is in control and that He is working all things out for your good. ( Romans 8:28 ) Keep your mind on God and the things of God. Keep in His Word. And he will give you peace and comfort. And a reason, a purpose, and hope to keep going! In Him, Mae P.S. Please feel free to contact me if you would like someone to talk to as you are going through a rough time in your life. I would love to be an encouragement and support to you. And offer the comfort God has given me. Have you gone through something terribly hard in your life? And your heart is breaking? Well I have good news for you. I serve a God who is a healer of broken hearts. Yep, that is specialty I think! After the tragic loss of our son in 2017 our hearts were breaking. Even though I felt the peace and comfort of God surrounding me. Still you wonder if you will ever heal from something like that, and if you will have true joy again. I am here to say, "Yes, your heart will heal. You will have joy again. And things will get better with time." It truly will. About a year after our son's death one particular day missing my son hit me really hard. And I commented to my mom, "It's like a wound that never heals. A wound that never goes away." With it drawing on almost another whole year since then, I would say the wound feels very healed. I still miss him a lot of course and always will. That will never go away. And never change. Our son, Clayton, will always be a real part of our lives, but always the missing part. But the gaping wound I feel is healed. I know that the grieving process and healing time for everyone is as unique and different as each of us humans are. And that's okay. There is no time limit on how long we will grieve. And no rules. But I feel we can get our selves moving in the right direction of healing and finding hope and joy again when we completely surrender our lives to God. And we seek Him daily and in every area in our lives, casting all our worries and cares on Him. He can handle all that, and it will give us such a peace of mind. Right after losing our son all I could do was pray. And what a comfort it was. I just told Him everything. Everything I was feeling. And was constantly praising and thanking Him. It was amazing to be in communion with with Him like that. That truly kept me going. And continues to keep me going! Finding things to be thankful for and give God praise for was a big healer for me. Even in our deepest sorrow and in the worse of circumstances we can find things to be thankful for if we only try. I did. Yes, even with tears running down my face at times. And what a blessing it was to me. To read more on the benefits of being thankful read my blog post being-thankful-even-in-difficult-things-such-as-a-loss.html What ever it is you are going through right now. And no matter how much your heart is breaking. I want you to know there is hope and healing. You will have joy again. And God has a great plan and purpose for you in and through this and because of this.
Commit your life to Him. And trust Him. And remember if you need someone to talk to please contact me. I will be more than happy to connect with you and be a support and encouragement. In Him, Mae Welcome to this weeks video blog post! Part two of Six Secrets to living a Joy-Filled Life. In this video I recap on the first three we covered in part one; being thankful in all things, rejoicing in God, and forgiving. Then I dig into the last three: dying to self, seeking God first, and trusting God. In Isaiah 26: 3-4 we read some very beautiful words. Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee, because he trust in thee. Trust ye in the Lord for ever: for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength. In Him, and Him alone, we will have perfect peace, and a joy-filled life! In Christ, Mae Welcome to another video blog post, which I believe is week 8. ( I've lost tract!!) This past week I complied a list of 6 secrets or steps to living a joy-filled life. In this video I cover the first 3. No matter what life brings you, you can learn to live victoriously just the same. Enjoy this video, and be blessed and encouraged! And be sure and check back here for part two! In Him, Mae Just wanted to get on here quick this evening and share some encouraging words. No matter what you might be going through right now. Regardless of how hard and painful it may be. I have is good news for you. There is hope and healing for the broken in heart! God is a healer of broken hearts! And He is our source of comfort, peace, and strength. He hears your crys, He knows your pain, and He cares. Some times things happen that are completely out of our control that we don't understand and we don't need to. We just need to know who is in charge and who is on the throne. And rest assured, He is holding your hand. He is in control and He's got this. In Isaiah 55:8-9 we read , " For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord." "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than yours, and my thoughts than your thoughts." Deuteronomy 29:29 "The secret things belong unto the Lord our God: but those things which are revealed belong unto us and to our children forever, that we may do all the words of this law." It is the hard things in life, the things we cannot understand that us bring closer to where God wants us. He has a plan we cannot see - a plan far greater than anything we could ever hope for or imagine. I get excited thinking about it, don't you? Here is beautiful quote. "There are some circumstances over which we have no control. However, if we are redeemed children of God, we are exactly where He wants us, because His sovereignty rules over all our situations." - Charles F. Stanley Below is a little devotion of Corrie ten Boom's that I find very encouraging and comforting. In Christ our Hope and Strength, Mae Jesus did not promise to change the circumstances around us. He promised great peace and pure joy to those who would learn to believe that God actually controls all things. "One day, when He shows Himself in full splendor to men, you will be filled with the most tremendous joy.... You can be sure that God's spirit of glory... is resting upon you." 1 Peter 13-14 Your will be done, father. Teach us that you, not we control our lives for our own good. - Corrie ten Boom Welcome to week 7 video blog! Ever wondered about the roots of a massive redwood? And what it takes to hold those huge trees sturdy and strong? In this video you will find out. As well as how we can apply that to our lives, and how we can stand strong too like a redwood! So when the strom of lives come we will be standing strong. May you be blessed and encouraged! In Him, Mae Here is week 6 video blog post. In this weeks video I am encouraging you that no matter what you are going through and what you are in the middle of, that God is right there with you. He is not only holding your hand through your time of difficulty, but He is carrying you in His arms as well! I may not know what you are going through, but I know that our God is with you in the midst of it, and is in control of this. He is working out all things for your good! Trust and rest in Him. In Christ, Mae I am happy to share with you that our story has just came out in this issue, ( issue # 96 ) of the Above Rubies magazine, from the Above Rubies Ministry. So excited about that! This little magazine goes in to 100 countries! So you can only imagine how many homes it will go into. All the stories and articles in there are always so good and inspiring, but I am excited about our story being a blessing and encouragement to many as well. I have several magazines to give away to friends and family in my community. If anyone else would like a copy of the Above Rubies magazine please visit the Above Rubies website to request a copy. Ask for issue # 96, or you could be put on the mailing list to be a regular subscriber. All magazines are by donations. I may never know how all God will use our story. But when you share something that God has put on your heart, I know that He has a plan for it and it will bless someone. Our part is to be obedient, and He will take care of the rest. When we give our little to God, He does something big with it!
In Him, Mae
I am very excited to share here with you all, an article written by Talena Winters, a fellow author & blogger, as well as a mom who has also experienced the loss of a child as I have.
This article is of our loss of our 14 year-old son, and about drawing closer to God in our difficult time. And with His strength and peace how we are walking this new road in victory. I pray this will be a blessing an encouragement to any one who reads it. If you are walking this difficult path too, and would like to have someone to talk to and help you as navigate the stages of grief, and find new joy and purpose in life again. Please feel free to contact me. This is what I am here for. May you be blessed! In Him, Mae Have you been left reeling after a sudden and tragic loss of a child or other loved one? Are you wondering how you can go on, and if you will have joy and happiness in life again? Do you have a hard time feeling and seeing the closeness and love of God in all this? Are you so overcome with sorrow and grief that your heart feels heavy and cold? Something that can be very helpful and healing in your loss and season of grieving, is finding things to be thankful for. And you will find, there are still things we can be thankful for. We may have to look a bit harder than normal. But there are things. They are there. And we will find them if only we will look for them. 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (KJV) In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you. Yes, even in these extremely hard and difficult things, like a loss, we can still be thankful. It will make our hearts lighter in the mist our great pain and sorrow. And isn’t it neat we are mandated to do so? God knew what this would be a balm to our souls and an ointment to our broken hearts. After the very tragic and sudden death of our 14-year-old son in a quad accident in April 2017, I started finding things that I was thankful for concerning his death. Some were immediately after, and other things came a little later on. It was like looking on the brighter side of his death and this tragedy. Right off, I was thankful that Clayton had not taken his little brothers along for a ride with him. And after getting the results of the autopsy back, which showed he died of a broken neck with little to no trauma, we were very thankful that his death was quick. It was very comforting to know he had not been laying there suffering long and yelling for us to help. Later on, as I thought about it, I found other various things to be thankful for. I was thankful that Clayton was healthy, happy, and full of life right up to his death. That he was raised in loving and God fearing home. Grateful that he loved God. And when I thought of other children that have died, knowing they had been sick, ill, or suffered at the hands of a violent person before their death, I knew that we had so much to be grateful and thankful for. I was thankful for our 3 month old baby at the time, who was true source of comfort to me. One particular time, about 2 weeks after, I was thinking about Clayton and tearing up, I took one look at sweet Rebecca cooing up at me. And said, " Your here just for my joy aren't you?" And of course, I am extremely thankful for all our friends and family for being there for us and with us in the days following. For their thoughtfulness in providing ready-to-go meals, frozen meals, snacks and fruits, financial help, cards, prayers, and their great care and concern for us. I will always be grateful for how the whole community came together with support for us. I encourage you too, to find ways and things to be thankful for in your loss. I know this can and will seem very hard at the moment, but the benefits are too valuable not to. Even as you grieve, yes, even with tears running down your face, as you think of things to be thankful for, your heart and soul will be comforted, and a smile more than likely will come on your face. You will see God in it. You will see and feel His great love and care over you and for you. You may still be left wondering why this happened. Yet, you will be comforted that He never left you nor forsook you. HE is walking beside you in this! You could make it a point to think of something new each day to be thankful for and to give praise for. And you may want to journal as you go as well. This will give you something to look back on, so you can see what all God has done, and is doing for you. Especially when a difficult day comes along, which it will, just look in your journal and you will be encouraged! In Christ, Mae You also may like these posts.
Time goes by He hears and He cares His Plans Remembering Hunting With Clayton On Friday night of Oct. 6th, 2018 my dear daddy went on to be with the Lord. He was 79 years young, and 2 months short of his 80th Birthday. He went very peacefully in his sleep, and had been feel good as usual just the day before. For that we couldn't be more thankful. What a wonderful way to go. But it was so sudden for the family, and loosing a parent is still hard. We had a little graveside service with family and long-time friends of my Dad and Moms. It was a very nice service which was done by one of my brothers. We laid in him to rest right beside our son Clayton's grave. That was precious. But of course hard at the same time. I have so many special memories of Dad. But the greatest part of his life to me was his strong and unwavering walk he had with the Lord. God was so real and alive in his life. And it was all part of who he was. There was no division between his spiritual life and the rest of his life. That was his life. And what a wonderful example that has been to me. I give all the credit of who I am in the Lord today to my dad and my mom. To me they were a great example to what an, 'as for me and my house', should look like. I will always have great memories to look back on and cherish, but I'm going to be missing my dad the rest of my life! In Him, Mae I am excited about a video blog post I am planning to do soon about what God is doing in our lives and with our story. In this video I will share the story of the tragic loss of our 14 year-old son in April 2017. As I share the story of our great loss I will also be sharing about the hope we have in Jesus. And what God has been doing in our lives between then and now. Because of our loss and through our loss.
It is a beautiful story in the making. That I am more than confident. But when you can't see the whole story, and you can't see the ending from the beginning it is so hard to go on in faith knowing that there will be an extraordinary ending that we can't even begin to imagine or think. I am not referring to the end of story when we will be gloriously carried Home to be forever with our Heavenly Father. But the end here on earth. How the story goes down here this side of heaven. I know that God has a beautiful ending here through and because of our loss and that our story is not over yet. My desire is to be a vessel that He can use to bring hope, life, encouragement, and inspiration to someone else who is hurting. A voice He can speak through. A life He can use for His glory. Whatever you have been through or are going through, know that God loves you more than anything. He sees your pain, and He hears your cries. He knows and He cares. He is coming through on your behalf! Your story is not over. He has an amazing and beautiful ending for you! In Him, Mae ( This video blog post mentioned above will be done in our little library building in our Alberta home. You should be able to expect to see it here on my blog in 2 to 3 weeks. ) Your world is not falling apart, it's falling into place!
It truly is! I know this may be hard to see or believe at the time if you are going through something really hard in your life and in all appearances your world and life is completely falling apart. As we felt after the death of our son in April 2017. But we humans can only see the small picture. If we could only see what God can see! This is only a stepping-stone to what great things He has in store for you and I. We all know the story of Joseph in the Bible. He was sold into slavery by his very own brothers. If this wasn't bad enough, he later was thrown into prison and under false accusations no less. Talk about his world falling apart! But that is not the end of the story! Turns out this was part of God's great plan for his life, so that he could do something mighty for many nations including his very own brothers. Because of him being at that place at that time he saved many from starving in the seven years of famine. This verse in Genesis 50: 19-20 sums it all beautifully! "And Joseph said unto them, Fear not: for am I in the place of God? But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive." Wow! That which was meant for evil, God turned it into something beautiful for His glory! ( There is many for such similar stories in the Bible as well.) Don't you just love how God does that! Joseph certainly had all the right in the world to believe his world was falling apart. But we know how the story ends! His world was not falling apart, it was just falling into place! Glory be to God! And that is the same for you and I too! These hard things in life that we can not understand why, are getting us to where God wants us. He has a plan we can not see. And that plan is greater than anything we could ever hope for or imagine. I am getting excited just thinking about it! God is going to do great things through you and I! Please believe that! He is going to turn our pain into purpose! Our tragedies into triumphs! Our tears into joy! Our setbacks into a break through! Our wounds into beauty marks! Our sorrows into serving! All for His glory and to save many! Halleluiah, Jesus wins! So when you think your world is falling apart, trust God that it's really not, but that it is just falling into place. In Him, Mae P.S. If you have not made God the Lord of your life yet. If He is not the very center of your life or your personal saviour. May this be your moment. Today is your day! He is waiting for you. And if you need someone to talk to besides our all knowing and all loving God please contact me, I would love to hear from you. I would love to help you to make this big step, or just be there for you in your difficult time. Lovingly, Mae When our new journey first began after loosing our second oldest son in a four-wheeler accident on April 19th, 2017, I started blogging here about that new journey. Also right off I knew at some point down the road I would want to write a book about our loss and of the hope we have in Christ. And now I am anxious to see that book come into reality. Why? Because I want to share the hope we have with others. I want to share our story to be an encouragement and blessing to someone else. I believe someone somewhere needs to hear what God has done and is doing for us. I know how much I was blessed and encouraged by reading the books of other families stories of loss or tragedy. How they made it thorough. And what all they went through and emotions they experienced, ect... , which helped me know I was not alone. Others had walked this road. And God was by their side every step of the way. And He would be for us too!! And I want to be that same blessing and encouragement to someone else with the story God has given us. My constant prayer right after I found out our son died was this, "If there is any one who knows us who doesn't know you Lord, may this be their moment." I felt God would give life to others through the death of our son. I am so glad to have this blog and to have been able to share so much on here over this past year. I pray that it has been blessing and help to someone. And that they can see God's greatness, and feel the strength, peace and joy that comes from a life founded in Him and which only He can give. I suppose we will never know why this happen to our family. And I don't why your going through what you are going through. But I know this. Our God does not make mistakes. He is giver and taker of life. With Him there is no accidents. He has a plan and a purpose for every move He makes. His ways are not our ways. He loves and cares for his children way more than we can ever comprehend. And He will see us through our every storm. He promised He would always be with us. He will never leave us nor forsake us. This I know! Just trust Him. And cling to Him with all you got. He's got you! We grieve, but not with out hope. In Him, Mae
The morning started out a bit rough for me though. As I was thinking about our evening we had planed for Nathan, and started preparing for and anticipating that event, I had a lot of emotions going on. Excited for Nathan, but of course thinking about our dear son, Clayton, and so also quite sad and feeling down. Knowing that not only would Clayton not be here to be apart of this special moment for Nathan, but that he ( Clayton ) also would not be having this special moment himself at all. I had already previously said to some of my family that I already considered Clayton graduated though. So I had to rework that through my mind again to console my self. That no, Clayton would not be having a graduation as Nathan from 12 years of schooling and at the usual graduating age, but he did graduate from school just the same, at the tender age of 14 from grade 8. And not only did Clayton graduate from school, but he successfully graduated from this life here in this old, broken temporary world, to his new beautiful heavenly home -- his forever Home to be forever with the Lord. Where there is no more pain, no more sorrow, no more tears, no more sin, and no more death. Now that is the ultimate graduation! He successfully made it through, completed his life and all that the Lord had for him here, though short it was, and now is resting with the Lord, worshiping with the angels, and proudly wearing his graduation crown! Way to go Clayton! We look forward to joining you one day! ( Your mom just wishes she could give you a big hug & a loving pat on the back right now though) While I was feeling down and thinking this all through I just felt I needed to talk to my mom. Some how just talking to her is just what I need to make it through a rough moment like that. So I called her up. And soon as she says hello I told her that I forgot to mention to her last night when we spoke that we were having Nathan's graduation dinner today. I could hardly get those words out without choking up. I said, "I am thinking about Clayton how he is not here, and that he won't be graduating like Nathan, but I also feel he already did before Nathan." She understood. And she agreed with me. And gave me words of encouragement, hope, and comfort. We talk for awhile, me crying, and her comforting me. And then we get off. I go about writing a message for Nathan in the grad card I bought for him. After that I am feeling better, and go into the kitchen to get busy cooking and baking. By late afternoon all is well with me, and all is set and ready for a special evening for Nathan. Of course I had to phone my mom later that night to tell her about our great evening. And she shared my joy, wishing that they could have been here with us though. So in saying we have our 2 oldest sons graduated now. One completed with school and headed off soon to work at Riverside Bible camp for the summer in far off Canada, as well as what ever else the Lord has for him and his life. And our other one, completed with this life and now safely off in his forever Home with the Lord. Sure, it is all bitter sweet. But it is what it is. And sometimes we just have to look on things with a little different perceptive. What ever it takes to make it through what we have been given in life. Because we know our God makes no mistakes. There is no accidents with Him. Though we can not understand why we know this was apart of the His plan for our lives. And so no matter how hard it may be for me to say this, " I wouldn't desire it to be any other way." To God be the glory, honor,& praise for ever and ever! Amen! In Him, Mae P.S. If you are a mother that has just recently lost a child, I understand that you may find it hard to see and feel my perceptive of how I view our son, Clayton, as graduated. Know that I could never have felt this way any sooner. It would have been too hard on me to feel that way earlier on. Now though that is has been over a year, the pain has lessened some and so I can honestly feel happy for Clayton. But it still hurts - a lot. That is why it was so hard for me that morning as I mentioned, and as I was writing the above piece tears were very close to the surface. Maybe this is not the way others may want to look at it with their loss, but it does and has helped me. So I am sharing in case it may be an encouragement and blessing to you and your situation.
Remember if you need someone to chat with please leave me a message in the contact box, and I will get back to you as soon as I can. That is what my blog and I are here for! :) Surviving the first year after the death of our son. How we made it, and what helped. Well we done it. We survived one whole year. This first anniversary was on April 19th, 2018.
The day our world turned upside down we were left wondering how we could ever go on, could we even live life after experiencing the death of our son? But regardless of how we felt and if we want it to or not life goes on. And we made it. We managed. We survived. And we've had joy again. As well as peace and comfort. Only God! I want to share some things that really helped me, and I that can point to and say this is what got me through-- because of God. I know we all grieve different, and different things help at different stages for each us. But just sharing what helped me. And may it be an encouragement and inspiration to you! Note: I need to mention that I refer to my son's death as an accident because he died in a quad accident. And that is what we call it in our earthly terms. But with God I don't believe there is any accidents, nor that things just happen. I believe this was a part of His plan though I will probably never know why this side of heaven. I have no doubt whatsoever that our dear son would still be here if it wasn't his time to go. ~ Prayers Prayers were the first and foremost! Right as things were unfolding and we are hearing that our son Clayton may be dead, I started praying. It was the first thing on my mind and tongue. Verbal and nonverbal prayers. Some load, some quite. That is all I could do is pray. (To read the complete story on that day click here.) First I was praying and crying out for Clayton to receive life again if it was the Lord's will. And then to be able to except it if it wasn't. And praying for my husband that he would stay strong and that he would be okay ( he was at the accident site, I was at the house). Praying for each of the children, especially 12 year old Sam who was the first to find Clayton and was Clayton's best buddy and room mate. And praying for my self. And of course the prayers of many others were going up too, to the throne, already at this point as well. And I could feel them. That is what kept me strong right from the beginning of it all. Another prayer of mine that I kept praying the rest of that first evening and into the sleepless night that followed was this, "if there is anyone who knows was Lord, who does not know you may this be the moment, may they come to know you through this." I felt prayer was more from God than me. That He was giving life through our sons death. That is thing right there that really helped me. I could be okay with that. If this is what it had to be, this is the plan God had for us, and people would come to know God through it then I could be okay. Even with my heart breaking and tears flowing down my face. Though that is one thing that I didn't do much was cry. I wish I had more. It just didn't come for some reason, or maybe I was too successfully at fighting it back. But off and on since then and even here recent the tears have come. I can hardly talk about it yet with out shedding some tears. But that is okay, that is normal, and I am in the healing process. ~ The support and Encouragement from others We had support from family, friends, and the community immediately. That helped way more than I can express in words! Was very comforting knowing that we were loved, and being cared for, prayed for, and up-lifted in thought even as things were unfolding. A few close friends came right over to be with us. Meals were being planned. The next couple days after friends came over just to be with us, and to spend time with the children until more of my family could arrive. We were could covered on meals for days, as well as snack foods, and fruit, and much more! The community came together and took care of us! ~ Reading My Bible, inspirational books, devotionals, and true stories of other families who went through a death in the family. The book I was in the process of reading at the time of the accident was one by Nick Vuigci. I have three of his books, so not sure which one, but they are all really good.( If you don't know him, he is an internationally know, inspirational speaker who was born with out arms or legs. And as his motto goes,' no legs, no arms, no worries'!! ) So this book I was reading at the time was by my head broad. When ever I laid down to nurse, my then 3 month old baby, I would pick up my book. And I did this with in a hour or 2 after the accident. Of course it was hard to concentrate. But still I read. Kind of both prayed and read at the same time. And in those painful moments while I read, things seemed to just leap off the pages into my heart, and seemed things were made a little easier to bear. And I felt like it was no accident at all that I was reading that book at that time. A God thing. After completing that book, I dove into other inspirational books, and started looking for books on other peoples stories of loss. I just went from one book into the next, devouring several very quickly. One of the first ones I read about others who experienced the death of a child was, by Steven Curtis Chapman called, Between Heaven and the Real World. Then I read the one by his wife, Choosing to See. Over the year I read several books and came across others that looked great. To view my list of books click here. ~ Keeping busy Just keeping my self busy was also a way I kept going. It kept my mind from wandering. Busy was good, especially for the first few weeks. A couple weeks after I got in the garden and started planting. That was helpful, but hard too especially when I went to plant Clayton's seedlings he had started. I planted those in tears and in prayers, but it was still good. And we started schooling again after about two weeks as well. It was hard to get back at that, but also really necessary and good for all of us. Getting into our normal routine and schedule soon as we could was very helpful for the whole family. Maybe we didn't really want to do that, but as I mentioned above life was going on weather we wanted it too or not, and we had to do what was best for all of us. ~ Praise music I always enjoyed listing to praise music, but after loosing our son, it came to be more of what held me together and what kept me going than just for enjoyment. When my sister arrived at my house the day after the accident she came bearing several praise and worship CDs and long with one just for the children. We played those lots. And then I looked up songs on you-tube. I would have pretty loud and would sing along to them. What ever I was doing I had them on. They kept me going. Especially loved any songs that talked about going through a hardships or storms of life. ~ Planning a ladies Retreat About 4 months after, I started planning a ladies retreat for women who had either experienced the tragic death of a child or husband. I had been praying and thinking about other families we had heard about that had also experienced a loss, and just felt it on my heart to organize a ladies retreat just for them, to be an encouragement and blessing to them. So I started planning. I prayed and looked for a speaker. I soon found a speaker who matched completely the description that I prayed for. And dug into making other plans, finding a camp and location. It was neat to see things coming together. And different people I told what I was planning thought it was a good idea and encouraged me. So months passed with pour my self into plans and details. Then it came down to just 2 months left to go till retreat time. ( I had planned it for March 9-11th, 2018. ) No one was registered yet. And no one even let me know that they were interested in coming. But I tried hard to keep my spirits up believing this was God's will, and that several ladies would register yet. But I did have to choose a cancel date in case there was not enough interest. So the cancel date was set for a month before the retreat date. The days kept going by and the cancel date approaching and still no one registered. I still had faith though that the ladies would register, and I kept that faith right up till the very day before we had to cancel. I told my mom, "Well we got one more day, God just wanted to wait and do this supper miracle and 20 ladies will register tomorrow". Well the day came and went and no one. So unfortunately we had to cancel. I was very disappointed and was of course left wondering, " Why Lord?" I had so looked forward to it and had poured much energy and time into it. I had been confident it was His will. You can read the blog post I wrote after that door closed by clicking here. Only thing I can think was maybe I did not take enough time to pray about it, before jumping head long into it. Or maybe it full fill it's purpose for me at the time to keep my busy. After that I poured my self into writing 2 tracts that I could pass out to people for out-reach. And continued my writing. ~ Writing/blogging Writing was very helpful and healing. I was in the process of finishing up my little book called, Mother Than a Mother, at the time of Clayton's death. I resumed writing that as soon as I could. And then started blogging our new journey here on my blog as well. It really helped. Some of my blog post were on what I was going through and how God was helping me, and other posts focused on encouraging others. ~Looking up inspirational sayings I googled a lot of inspirational sayings and quotes to share here on the blog and on my face book page. Those really help to boost my spirits. I did it to encourage others and for my self. It worked wonders!! And now I have all those piles of sayings down loaded on my lap-top and at my finger tips! ~ As the first year draws to a close As the first year was coming to a close I was reflecting back over the year and thinking about some things I wished stayed the same as it was right after the accident, and things that of course I am so glad and thankful are in the past. Some of things that were nice, ( as the say goes there is always a silver lining to every cloud ) was that all the children were trying very hard to be on their very best behavior, and the girls were evening walking around in the house as quietly as they could. They were very careful not to upset me. That is the way I would always like my children to behave. But that didn't last long, only the first week or so. Then things were back to normal that way. Things I am glad that are gone and past is that raw grief and pain. My every thought that was consumed by the terrible loss of our precious son. And sleepless nights. In the first few months that got easier, and better. And as the year progress it continued so. But still off and on there would be very difficult moments, and even yet. Something said or something done that sparked the memory and glaringly brought back to the reality that are son is gone and that our family will never ever be complete and the same again. When those moments hit I would go to God in prayer over my feelings of grief and pain and He would fix me up again. And I have my ups and downs and lows and highs. But I know with out a doubt that our God loves us, will never leave us nor forsake us, and He has a super great plan for us. To that I cling daily. Yes, we survived the first year. Not an easy year by no means. But by God's great love and care we did, and quite victoriously I might add!!! And now I want to reach out to others who have gone through a loss like ours. To give them encouragement, hope, and the support that we received in our difficult times. Please share this post with any one you know that would be encouraged and blessed by this. And leave me a comment or use the contact box if you are going through a very hard and difficult time right now and you need someone to talk too. I would love to chat with you. And pray for you. That is what I am here for. And I am a very strong believer in the power of prayer! There is power in His name!! AMEN!! In Him, Mae Okay, so this past week I managed to have time to up-grade, and now have a paid site with a registered domain name. Moving up a bit in the world! Hopefully these changes will make it easier to find our Lights For Jesus website/blog.
Unfortunately while registering the domain name we had a bit of mess up and ended up with lightsforjes.com. That was disappointing since I never would have intentionally abbreviated Jesus's name like that. So I hope no one is offended by it. Know that we would never have done that on purpose. Also working on all the pages and adding slideshows, share buttons, ect... I will continue to work on it as I have time as well as add various articles that I have written over the years. I hope to have lots available here to encourage, inspire, and challenge you in your walk with the Lord. That is my passion out side of being a wife and mother. Is to encourage, up-lift, and empower other women in the Lord. I know how much I have been inspired and encouraged over the years by books, devotionals, and teachings by fellow wives and mothers in the Lord. I love what they are doing, and that they have taken time out of their busy lives to write and share their heats and lives so that they may be a help to others. I have been tremendously blessed by many such women. And I want to be able to bless others as I have been blessed. Though since I am a super busy homeschooling mom to 8 super busy children I do not always get much time to pursue my writing here on my blog! But every spare moment I get I write! In between times as God puts things on my heart and mind I just jot in on a note paper and stick it in my laptop. Then when I get time I turn it in to a blog post! Also since April of 2017 when we experienced the sudden and tragic death of our 14 year old son I am reaching out to others who are also walking this road. If that is you, I want to be all the support and encouragement to you that I can. I know how hard it is. Here is the page I created just for that. Feel free to share it with any one you know who would benefit from it. What ever you may be going through know that God is with you always. He knows. He cares. He loves you. He has a plan in all this. Just cling to Him with all your strength, and trust Him that He is on His thrown and is in control. He makes no mistakes, and with God nothing just happens. It is all part of His big sovereign plan. In Him, Mae |
Meet Mae
I am a wife to my wonderful husband, Paul, of over 22 years. Mommy to 9 blessings, ages 21 to 3 years. Our 2nd oldest son, at age 14, has gone on to be with the Lord on April 19th, 2017. I share about that new road we are on here on my blog. Categories
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My first 7 years of blogging.
Great inspirational reading! "I believe a greater intimacy with God leads us to an inner peace, unquenchable joy, & an ever-lasting hope regardless of what we go through in life." Mae Archives
December 2023
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